Sum, my buddy
Sum, my buddy
Poetry dedicated to my special friend
By Oiseau Distrait
Previously Published in the publication of
Write Under The Moon on Medium_ since 2024
Embedded Files
When The Time Comes by Oiseau Distrait
When The Time Comes by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _10 Sept, 2024)
Life is like a spark
like everyone says
sparkles that fade in the remembrance of whom
there isn’t any trace
you told me last night
as it was still the same blue swing
there will be sparks…no more
in your life of tomorrow
the final breath stops as if
they were the only choice
not for you to choose
but the only fear for you
there are no tears in your eyes
you don’t know how to cry
the miserable fate you have
keep haunting in your life
the moment you told me again
you’ve lost all your faith
I wish my God could comfort you
but you keep pushing away
my tears running inside me
when I listened to your solitude
you said you’re pretending as if
it’s no big deal
when the life timer stops…
without a call, or a note to inform
all will end in a sudden
in the last free-fall
you looked far to the sea
searching for the meaning to live
your anger concealed
in the wave bouncing off …disappeared
you told me there is no way out
you don’t see a gleam
I wish I could help
but I was silent & still
you asked me
will I remember you, after you leave
I said, sure…kid
you relieved
Life is like a spark
like everyone says
you’ll forever shine in your way
the nights in my remembrance, where your sparkles stay
©oiseaudistrait, Sept 2024
***
火光般的人生
如你，我，他般演釋，瞬間便消逝
無形, 無跡, 亦無㾗
無處可追尋
昨天晚上
你說，火光早已不再閃燿
細聽著如藍調般的碎語
感歎着不會再出現的明天
在鬱悶中無奈的等待
沒選擇的餘地
沒逃避的可能
呼出最後的一口氣
隨著命運的追捕
人世間的糾結
失落於乾涸無人之地
你早已忘記如何流出眼淚
那天你告訴我
信念早已如風飄逝
但願我主……能安慰
當你不再推開，遠離
你說，
即使不再預告
在最終一次的滑落
𣊬間停頓的心跳
生命必須終結時
……沒什麼大不了
聽着你內心的讀白
看着你無奈的假裝
淚水早已流到我心深處
浪濤承載着的憤怒
被潮石擊碎成散亂的浪花
你看着大海的盡頭
尋找消失中生存的意義
你說，不再有曙光
你說，不用再尋覓
要是能回應……
我卻只可默言無聲
你問
當殘光熄滅之後，可會記起你
孩子……我會
你終於微笑
火光般的人生
如你，我，他般演釋，瞬間便消逝
那些，你曾停留的片時
仍然散發着屬於你那燿眼的光芒……怎捨得忘記！
©忘記鳥 9.2024
Attached
...It has to end by Oiseau Distrait
Attached
...It has to end by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _27 Sept, 2024)
Swallow them all as if dead potion
keep me alive in the countdown
before the longing sunset, in other’s eyes
Filling up the emptiness with a sigh
Sealed with a broken cap
I throw you hard into the sharp waves
drowned…
But you keep rolling back
once, twice, again & again
I quit…stay as you wish
Tell me, why are you so attached
to the incompleted me
A little peace of mind is what I need
Isn’t it a luxury?
An invertible dream to reality?
I’m trapped in your void of emptiness
Couldn’t leave
If it is what it has to be
I’ll use my last breath to mash your broken cap
To set me free
©oiseaudistrait, Sept 2024
依戀⋯⋯
在別人眼中期待的日落時份
夕陽下生命倒數之際
我只可繼續被死神的依戀吞噬
空洞中填滿哀鳴
緊緊用破爛的樽蓋封閉
耗盡我畢生的力量把你狠狠地投入
怒海之中，願你從此被淹沒
但你不斷地折返
一次、兩次、一次又一次
我放棄了⋯⋯滿意吧！如你所願！
告訴我，為何你總是這麼難纏
為何如此依戀一個破碎的心
我只想得到片時寧靜
難道這是奢望，是一個逆轉現實的空想嗎
我被困在你的空洞內
沒法子離開
要是就只可以如此
我會用盡最後的一口氣
狠狠地把你僅存的爛樽口打碎
還我自由
©忘記鳥 9.2024
After The Dark
... If there is the Moon shines by Oiseau Distrait
After The Dark
... If there is the Moon shines by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _ 7 Oct, 2024)
Before returning to the hospital, I wish I could sit in the sunset, again with you…the last one, I supposed.
The same free touch caress, the same temperature in the air… as if it was blood flowing in my broken veins.
There may not be words, it’s not mandatory, but please stay with me so I can see, here we are, before the coming of the dark…eventually.
How could I show my gratitude for what you’ve done for me, even if it’s only a minute of company…I wish I could find a word.
Why does sunset have to be sad? If I could laugh until the coming of the dark…I believe there is the Moon shines, in my room after departure from the coast.
Now, bathing in the moonlight imagining, it was real…and we were always sitting underneath, as it was…when we were kids.
***
Bird’s thought:
I’m not the one receiving the call from Death up to this moment, but eventually, in the future, that is life. But my friends who are haunted continually by this monster, recently, in Autumn…my favorite season of poetic romance and…Sorrow!
I’m not a doctor, I can’t cure.
I’m not a priest, I can’t save.
I’m not the Savior, I can’t command.
But I’m a listener, I’ll hear…
A company, I’ll stay…
A Christian, I’ll pray.
©oiseaudistrait, Oct 2024
黑暗過後的月夜
或許這是最後一次⋯⋯在重返醫院之前，
我還是渴望和你再次坐在夕陽下。
空氣中熟悉的觸感，散發着同樣的餘溫；
彷似血液在我那千蒼百孔的動脈內流動着。
無須刻意交談，也許根本沒有可用的言詞，
但請留下，即使只有一刻鐘，
和我一同靜待即將要來臨的黑夜。
但願我能找到片語，
叫我懂得如何表達對你感激之情!
為何日落總叫人傷感？
要是在我別離之後的彼岸，
漆黑中，我仍想笑着等待，
相信月兒必定會前來探訪⋯⋯你、我的心房。
來吧！沐浴在美麗的月影之下，
如幻似真的彷如小時候，
我們的那些年⋯⋯
…
忘記鳥語:
此刻，我並未收到死亡的請柬，或許稍後，又或許未是時候⋯⋯無論如何，這就是人生！但我的一位摯友卻無時無刻活在死亡的追捕之下。今年，在我最愛的秋日裡，不再有詩情畫意，只剩下⋯⋯哀傷。
我不是醫生，沒法為你療癒
我不是牧者，沒法把你救贖
我不是救主，沒法命令死神遠離
但, 我是一個聆聽者，我願意聽
一個會為你留下的同行者
一個可為你守望的基督徒
©忘記鳥, 2024年10月
I Want To Be Me
Please... by Oiseau Distrait
I Want To Be Me
Please... by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _16 Oct, 2024)
Forgive me if I’m not going to listen
what you’ve said, your advice, your wishes…
that I don’t want to interact
I know it’s for my own good if I follow
I know you love me & care for me…
that’s so true
I know, I really know but please…
Let me be what I want to be
in my limited time within
I’m exhausted
I’m suffocated
I’m torn apart
by your over drown love
You break my heart
You tear me into pieces
You crash my belief
of what I believe
You know me deep
I’m begging you, my friend
Leave me in peace
for a few minutes at least
Stop blame for my carelessness
my disappearance
my offscreen so you can’t catch me
of where I’m
of what I’m doing
But…
What I want!
I want you to understand I know
how stupid even if it seems I am
wasting time to others not worth a cent
I want you to know I can’t bear another regret
in my life for my last possible act
I want you to trust me
knowing what I’m doing
even my time is draining as sand
I want to be Me!
©oiseaudistrait, Oct 2024
***
We care about our loved ones, friends & families. When they face health problems, we may worry more than themselves. But how much caring is enough? Or will it never be enough?
The struggle always arises when we want them to follow the ‘right’ choice of the majority, the rational one & seems the most promising to get cured…
~ Eat healthy food
~ Sleep more
~ Stay in the hospital
~ Follow the doctor’s instructions
~ Be positive
~ Exercise more
~ Relax
~ Don’t do this & that
~ Do this & that…
These are 99% correct without question, but ‘free will’ shouldn’t be ignored, even if it may oppose the above.
We love them, that’s why we care; we want to give them all the best, including advice. But little did we know, too much awareness leads to Pressure. If I were the one who is suffering health problems, a matter of life & death…it’s definitely, I need more…SPACE!
Space of free air, free time & free will…even if they are irrational, but what if it does nothing harm to others?
There is always a tension between constructive & destructive acts. Rules created for people (patients) to follow, the ‘It’s for your own sake rules’ including … could be devastating.
I can’t stop thinking of this recently because the whole scenario reappears again to my friend. She is suffering, in fact, not only physical but emotional pain from someone who loves & cares for her so much.
The pressure that may finally crash her prior to her illness.
It’s a melancholy that could be avoided.
We care cos we love them, but
love is not colonized,
it’s a respect of free will.
God bless!
要是我不聽，可否別怪我
不願回應你所說、所想、所提示
即使深知你心意，為着我的好
愛我寵我關心我，從未如此真實過
我知，我知，但……請容我
在這有限的時間內，
做回我想做的我
你心早清楚，
我那渴想的堅持
只是，你那過份澎湃的愛，
窒息我心房
把筋疲力歇的我，
恨恨地撕碎、摧毀
朋友，求你們離開我
給我片時的安靜
容讓我消失
不再存在於這個國度
不要再過問我的得與失
我不要再被你追捕
不要再被你怪責我的衝動
讓我可……做回我想要的我
即使在你眼裡，我是何等的愚昧
為毫無價值的傾出所有
但願你明暸，我的甘心，我的情願
我的心力已耗盡，不能再承受多一分遺憾
求你相信我，沒人比我更清楚
在我的年月如流沙般消散之前
讓我，做回真實無偽的一個我
***
當身邊的親人、朋友或摯愛被疾病纏繞的時候，我們那關懷備至的愛總會毫不吝嗇地奉上。但有否想過，有時候，過度的關懷也許會令人窒息。
當我們認為，又覺得患病的他應該跟隨一些公認可行，又證實對的方案去做的時候，例如：
~ 營養食物的吸收
~ 多休息
~ 留院治療
~ 正向，跟從醫生指示
~ 多做運動
~ 放鬆心情
~ 不要做這些
~ 要做那些
即使毫無相確……但，要是他不想，這可會是病人的自由意願？
我們愛他，所以擔心、關懷、體貼地提醒，令他不會疏忽可提升康復的方法。日復日的溫馨提示，漸漸在不知不覺間成為無形壓力。我想，如果我就是那個正在面對生死存亡的他，我絕對需要……空間！
太多的’都是為你好'規條，可以是由建設性變成毀滅性。容讓當事人在自由的空間內，隨着他的自由意志，做他的決擇。即使看似毫不理性，只要不傷害他人，那又何妨呢？
最近，我不禁回想我的摯友正處於這個困局之中，令她身心俱疲，足以她在病危前把她壓碎； 但願，這個悲劇可以避免。我們愛所以緊張，但愛不是佔有，更不是殖民地式的擁有～ 而是對自由意願的尊重。
主佑老友
©忘記鳥, 2024年10月
Silent Night
...The last & forever by Oiseau Distrait
Silent Night
...The last & forever by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _23 Dec, 2024)
Believe it or not
Miracle chime jingle
Silent as it seems
Loud as rebellion roar in the wind
Another day…another day…
A few more days…
For me to catch snowflakes at Christmas…
Imagining
They told me it’s my last Silent Night
When total darkness falls
The last curtain drawn
Turning point…no more
Frightening, am I?
Hopelessness, should I?
Forced to believe…
Choices of nothing
When the final spot disappears
I can see…no more
But snowflakes keep fluffing
Of a little warm of heartbeat, remains
Markers of moments enchanting
Secretly coded in sealed chamber
For I…To remember
They were there once in the Silent Night…of my last
Won’t you believe
The night is not utterly dark
I can see the colors
The palette of wishes tinted in the dark
©oiseaudistrait, Dec 2024
***
Bird Note: A poem dedicated to a friend of mine
The first & or maybe the last Silent Night we can spend together, knowing nothing about when will be her last minute on earth. The remaining eyesight for her to see light is diminishing, meaning also…her life span.
We asked God if there would…or would not be a miracle?!
She became a Christian & baptized in October, which didn’t change her physical status, but the light she can now see will last forever.
永遠的平安夜
相信嗎？
奇蹟的鐘聲已經響起
彷似是寂靜
卻是在狂風中叛逆地吼叫
多一天⋯⋯多一天⋯⋯
可否再多幾天⋯⋯
幻想自己在聖誕中可以捉到飄雪
他們告訴我
在最後黑暗前來之際
不能逆轉的謝幕之前
這會是我最後的一個平安夜
我是否應該恐懼？
我是否應該絕望？
在沒有選擇的餘地下
只能強迫接受
當最後的光點消失那一剎那
光明不再屬於我
但我知，飄雪並沒有靜止
帶着微溫的心跳，會在風中飛舞
在心房的隱密處，
悄悄地藏着每個喜悅時刻的暗記
讓我由始至終不會忘記
它們是曾經屬於我⋯⋯最後的一個平安夜
你可會相信，
黑夜並非無光
漆黑中，但願化身成為點點彩粉
點綴着我的餘生
©忘記鳥 12.2024
***
忘記鳥語：
這首詩是送給我一位摯友的。我不知道這會否是我們可以一起渡過的首個，同時又是最後的一個平安夜？我更不會知道，在她的視力進一步消失之前，這可會也是她在世上的最終章。
我們不斷問天父爸爸，會否⋯⋯又或是不會有奇蹟？！
十月，她決志並受浸，這並不能改變她的現況，奇蹟並沒有發生； 但是，她所看見的將會是永恆之光。
Run
A Stornello by Oiseau Distrait
Run
A Stornello by Oiseau Distrait
(originally published Write Under The Moon on Medium _6 Feb, 2025)
One second joy is a luxurious thought
A sealed clown mourning in the deserted hall
Hallucination fight for an open door
Free me as if I were from a misty night
Crazy running to the open sea of light
Utopia of no evil but delight
***
I bookmarked this challenge last week, preparing to participate right after. But I was occupied and therefore left it behind until today; a few days apart leads to a different thought of the theme.
There are people on earth who rarely make friends with JOY, it seems only misery, pain, hurt & evil are happening around. I don’t know why, even ask God if there can be a break for them to recover, so they can fight for their lives again, again and again... and she, my friend, is in this loop ~ the cycle of misfortune.
We’re supposed to be in good spirits in the Lunar New Year (at least for a day) and planning to escape from haunting this coming Sunday. But there is another new trouble that arose on Tuesday…
“Run, my friend!
It’s not your fault, you deserve a better tomorrow of your own!
Run!”
©oiseaudistrait, Feb 2025
一秒的愉悅是何等奢侈的空想⋯⋯
被困於死寂空房的小丑，沒期望！
直到情緒失控換來一扇可開啟的心門
容讓這困於黑暗的自我狂奔
奔往那光明的汪洋
再沒有邪惡，只有美善的烏托邦
***
早於上星期已經預備寫好詩後立即提交，但由於我忙着別的事而擔誤至今； 短短幾天的時間，令我把原定的思路改變了。
在這個世界上，有些人總是沒法子和 ‘ 喜樂’ 交朋友； 他們總被傷痛、苦難、噩耗纏繞着。我實在不明白為什麼，儘管問神何時才有個喘息空間？讓他們能夠休養，重新得力，再次為生命奮鬥！而她⋯⋯我的摯友，同樣處於這個不幸的輪迴之中。
農曆新年將至，原本我們盼望可以在下一個週日逃離一下現實中的困局，可惜在週二，另外一個問題又即將發生⋯⋯
“朋友，逃走吧！
不是你的錯，你值得擁有更美好的明天。
逃走吧！"
©忘記鳥 2.2025
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